| to fall in love and have the person negate you from thier heart..
that dosnt hurt me
to have the person act as if you are nothing and your emotions arent there
I do not fear it
to have an undying pain that will never leave you
I embrace it
to have the person ask you the one thing that you'll ever regret..when I a person who never allows regret into her life..
to be asked to destroy those emotions..
is the only thing that i will ever regret in life and love
|
| |
| Wow I havnt been on here for monthes.. yeah you guesed it MYSPACE!
but oh well.. its a waste of time and it makes people think differently about things.
I have more then have the people i know due to that website.. weird but true never the less. I have a new hubby.. one that I love more than anyone i've ever loved before. I know everybody says that when things start out, but eversince its been a really long while and i'm still feeling that way. i'm more obsessed with anime.. mainly Naruto and Bleach since i;m a total looser.
I drowned myself in my music.. no biggy
and did i say i fell in love?
also that i'm sick of this life and all the people in it?
i contradict myelf dont it.. oh well thats how things go I gues its obvious i'm different and i actually prefer it that way. Its better not to care about anything.. so when somthing drasitc does come up it wont hurt you.
well..i have to get to work now.. so bye -mwaz-
|
| |
| Nothing really going on at the moment. Going back to school tomorrow so I'm excited been dying to see my boo and my Wifey's. Ready to go back with my A game smile to win them all. Hope nothing gets screwed up wish me luck.
<33
|
| |
| I couldn't sleep last night. {though ten a clock is pretty early isnt it?}
So I went to the kitchen and drowned myself in Cookie Dough ice cream.
Thinking about my cookie monkey whom I'm going to die if I can't see.
And my wifey who I need to help more than anything.
Cause when your own life is falling apart it seems you really don't want to concentrate on it.
You finally realize that life is short and want to help those around you. So I have this song stuck in my head for a while so here goes.
Don' leave me in all this pain
Don't leave me out in the rain
Come back and bring back my smile
Come and take these tears away
I need your arms to hold me now
the nights are so unkind
bring back the nights when I held you beside me
Un-break my heart
say you'll love me again
un-do this hurt you've caused
When you walked out the door
and walked otta my life
un0cry these tears
I cried so many tears
un-break my heart
take back that sad word good-bye
bring back the joy of my life
ect ect
|
| |
| I'm not right?
cause it seems everyone thinks I am. Its like waking up from a dream and knowing the real life is a nightmare. Not that I think a mental hospital is that bad. Is it?
I'm not challanged or anything just mentaly disturbed.
At first I felt like an idiot and just a label. Cause as the first lady just wrote "Suicidal" and put into a huge pile.
Like I was just like another of the hundreds who feel like commiting suicide.
I met someone there who was interested in me but I wasn't, I have a perfectly well cookie monkey worried about me already.
And Puneta,Sprinkle and Beba too Yaxi as well.
Its bad enough I can;t go to school cause of this,,,, but I can't talk to them either and thats even worse.
I miss my friends
My cookie monkey
And my old life.
The one where I didn't have to worry if anyone was looking cause I was ugly. It JUST got to me that I was a bit attractive, I was in the pizza shop and the pizza guy staring at me and then a kid in the street wanted my number. Sure I've had signs of the few weeks but...it JUST hit me.
And I don't like it one bit.
Well anyway I have worser problems than that I can be put in special ed in this.
I actually like school, its interesting and I'm just about to get into things too.
Did I say I miss my friends and cookie monkey?
OMG!!!
I can't stand it!!
My friend needs my help and I can't even talk to her. I'm just sitting through the ride and hoping all goes well. That I get help and on top of that.
Well anyway see you l8ter
|
| |
